PSA on stemming toxic masculinity at events: IF YOU MUST… CLING, BE A REMORA, NOT A TICK .

IF YOU MUST… CLING, BE A REMORA, NOT A TICK .

Mattia wrote and illustrated this meme. I insisted on posting this ahead of our event with a vision of addressing toxic masculinity not just as predatory but downright parasitic through an image of a tick and remora with that zinger of text. #explicitcare

Posted @withrepost • @pufflingmoo .
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We’ve been talking about safety around an event and space when we’ll be discussing and showing our bodies in vulnerable ways. Not just physical safety, since “not being assaulted” is an extremely low bar. It would be great if we lived in a society where this wasn’t a big deal and brought up no fears, triggers, or creepers out of the woodwork. Having the health and energy to organize an event like this means we’re doing okay relative to moments in the past, but we don’t have extra to waste on bullshit, and we want to protect those who have a real need for this healing content.
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If you’re not supporting the rest of our work and just showing up because you’re titillated by the themes, this is not the event for you. If you’re a cis man who hasn’t been explicitly invited by someone involved, #patriarchy makes this probably not the event for you. If you don’t know whether you come across as creepy or make people uncomfortable, and want to figure it out so you can be more confident as an accomplice to these types of spaces, we’re thinking about how we can continue talking about this and teaching this in the future (but that’s not part of this event).
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Here’s what you CAN DO:
— donate (cover someone else’s ticket, help buy supplies, etc). As of now the organizers are going to make about $1/hr for the time we’re putting in, and it’s important work.
— commit to reading intersectional feminist texts (reading list below)
— learn how you and others around you play into parasitic toxic masculinity
— notice when women/femmes/enbies seem uncomfortable around you and back off
— if you must cling, don’t be a tick, be a remora: they eat parasites! Symbiosis means it’s going both ways.
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#principledpleasure #remora . #xplicitcare
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Reading list to long to post so it’s in the comments (feel free to add more!)
pufflingmoo
Reading list:
Women, Race, and Class by Angela Y. Davis

Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

Woman, Native, Other by Trinh T. Minh-ha

Assata by Assata Shakur

Random Family by Adrian LeBlanc

#listinexhaustible