Reclaiming DeSirE

Photo by Alua Aumade

I’m performing at the @thefemmeshow this FRI/SAT. Hands down it’s one of Boston’s most amazing community shows > tends to sell out

1. what is desire but being able to identify and express our needs to achieve abundance?
2. how might we acknowledge and bring to light the imprinting of desire as a practice of reclamation and self determinism
3. why is acknowledging the socialization of desire important in navigating and re-scripting the roles we are groomed to play or rejected by?

in big media, news, films, etc.
we see “undesirable” people depicted as deviant, bad, wild, untameable, dangerous, and reckless
those of us who are labeled “undesirable” recognize early our expulsion from belonging
we are therefore forced to receive the secondary message that that aesthetic of undesirability
is what we are
so we have no option but to go turn to these images even if we don’t necessarily look at ourselves as “bad.” many of us embrace these labels to claim some power back.
(can “bad” even exist in this capitalist white supremacist cis hetero-normative patriarchal world we live in?)

due to the dominant respectability messaging of what is desirable (good, nice, genteel), those of us who do not belong receive
we fight giving in to the so-called deviant images based on whatever privileges we may have access to
privilege means comfort
most people don’t like to feel discomfort if they have the means not to
especially when they are already not fitting in
some of us have no such privileges

On me, this meta-assimilatory force had the effect of keeping me fragmented, leaving me negotiating compromised images (I didn’t particularly subscribe to) as ways to express myself sexually yet ironically absolutely unable to express desire due to excruciating self-policing
it becomes almost a self-fulfilling prophecy of violence

I’m learning how to mine the moments of joy and respite and belonging we have experienced to create our own narratives

Come watch me reclaim desire <3