Brain heart attuned: with a fair amount of trepidation I called in a South Asian (casteD Hindu) framily member yesterday morning to make this point upon ruminating over an “alm” post she wrote last week. It was rough. I’m ill so my capacity to be polite has been diminished but she hung in there with my directness. She took down the post.
I think there’s a dangerous connection between people’s desire to not ruffle waters or be political with “alm.” While we as community organizers encourage the view that everything is political (no way around it due to institutional oppression), this unfortunate connection holds fast and strong between alm and the myth of meritocracy affirmed by the malignation (is this a word?) of the blm movement
Lot of work to do. Keep speaking to your folks people and that includes framily. Be compassionate when you can and always firm. Make no room for fragility. You can be firm and not rude. They just need to see someone bothered and cared enough. Use “I” statements and a lot of affirmative language and “ands” Listen. They’ll tell you themselves what they’re struggling with so you can then speak to those points. More people are sympathetic to blm’s message than we as individuals may have the capacity to understand. If we have people’s ear we don’t have the luxury to turn from them. They absolutely don’t have to agree with you. And it may not be immediate. They may unfriend you. But if you leave them with an open door I can guarantee 9/10 you they’ll come back. They just need to see you stand your ground. This is our work as nonblack poc and white people.