On my universe

I woke one morning

and this thought came to me :

 

I mean I don’t understand big bang or string theory

But I feel bold enough to think this might compete ::

 

My heart contains the universe.

 

When I am happy

it explodes

Not often

And when I am sad

It folds inwardly

Again, not often

 

I know I cannot be but a speck in all the universe

But what an image!

 

I am

in constant flux

intermittently

bursting forth and sucking in ancient stardust

 

Moving maybe not quite at the speed of light

But faster than the speed of a world forming

Which is pretty damn fast

 

Older than a new star forming

And me being such a hot young thang

 

As predictable as a night flower

budding and closing

(I am human after all)

yet causing enough chaos in my universe for me to know

I must be

 

They never really teach you this in school

How can they?

 

School is to make you believe your heart cannot contain the universe

School is to make you accept you’re only a cog in a great wheel

School is to make you fit

 

The only thing I learned in school is

I do not fit

Then stumbled upon this universe

In my heart

 

And it dawned on me

it is okay not to fit

 

How can I fit?

When my heart is bursting with the radiant universe

 

And why should anything that doesn’t fit to me matter?

When I hold the most important part of my existence

Right in me?

 

When I know the universe provides

What I need when I need it

 

When I realize the universe can squeeze itself fully into my heart

Beat through my blood

 

When I can appreciate the universe

Was responsible for the right magic at my birth

to make me one of the sentient few

and give me friends like you

so I learn to not be lonely

because it is so very lonely

to be in this great universe

 

I am no stardust

I am no planet

I am only a woman

In this great beating unfathomable beautiful space

that I can barely refer to with words abstract

but in which i have the strongest faith

this great unknowing

 

As I must have in the same in me